I found this on a message board sometime last year and stumbled across it again over the weekend. I thought it would be fun to post it again. And… just for chuckles & grins, I customized it a bit, and even added a few of my own to the list!
You can hold at least three conversations at the same time.
You have diapers in your purse, in the glove compartment, your desk drawer and in every room of the house – just in case.
Every square inch of seating in your vehicle is taken by car seats.
Your vacuum cleaner never makes it back into the closet.
You can sweep, talk on the phone, AND read to your children all at the same time.
Your monthly grocery budget is greater than the annual budget for the State of Rhode Island.
Four hours of sleep is “fully rested” and falling asleep over the kitchen sink is a “fulfilling nap”
The first thing you ask upon arriving home is for the poop and pee report.
2 minute tasks take 30 minutes because you have to keep returning to the play room to break up fights, peel the kids from the wall, change a diaper you can actually smell from the next room, break up more fights, remove a child from the top of the couch, perform surgery on the VCR because there is an UFO inside of it, fill sippy cups back up with water because whatever was in them disappeared mysteriously (only later when you sit down on the couch you will find where it went) remind them not to jump on each other, break up a few more fights and change more poopy diapers.
You not only are familiar with what a 186 count box of baby wipes looks like when they are all removed from the box one at a time, but you know for a fact you can’t put them back because you’ve tried.
You curse stores for only having two of something in a package, or for only having two of something on their shelf.
You buy Baby Motrin, Cough Syrup, etc, 3 at a time, and the clerk looks at you funny, while the whole time you are wishing they sold it in gallon containers.
You pull 3 tickets for Car seats at Babies R Us to take to the register, and when you get there the clerk says, “Ma’am, I think you picked up too many of these or they must have been stuck together”
You’ve fallen asleep in any of these places: The shower, washing dishes, sitting on the floor reading them a book, with your fork on the way to your mouth.
You agonize over what it will be like when they get to school and you have three teachers to visit on parent night, three different sets of homework, and your babies aren’t even out of the NICU yet.
Instead of a wallet full of photos you carry around a CD because it holds 700 megabytes of them.
700 megabytes is 1 night worth of photos.
Everyone in the neighborhood knows who you are, even though you’ve never met them before.
The grocery store clerk has commented on the 6-9 gallons of milk you buy each week, telling you it would be cheaper to buy a cow.
You know how to prop bottles with wadded up receiving blankets.
You’ve ever truly considered strangling someone who said, “you’ve got your hands full”, “are they all yours”, or “I’d shoot myself”.
You’ve ever been so sleepy that you can fall asleep with the baby lying on your chest and fail to wake up despite the fact that the baby is screaming directly into your left ear.
You are both shocked by the rudeness, and amazed by the kindness of strangers in the same 60 seconds upon entering Walmart.
Walmart is probably your favorite store, since its open till Midnight, diapers and formula are cheaper there, and they have triplet carts. Oh, and you consider going to Walmart at 11pm “going out”
If you’ve ever charted poops, pees, and food intake in an Excel schedule.
You know at one time you did have a spouse, but now you can’t remember
You have to wash the dinner dishes by hand because the dishwasher is full of bottles and sippies.
The singleton mom in front of you at Walmart buying one can of formula and one bag of diapers complains about the price and you have to restrain yourself from hitting a complete stranger.
The clerks at the grocery store have to regularly restrain you from pummeling any singleton mom that takes the last multi seat-shopping cart.
You are both revered and hated by the staff at your pediatrician’s office.
You don’t see anything unusual with the fact that you know not one, but several, triplet moms.
You no longer have to wonder what a “poop painting” would look like.
A complete stranger walks up to you in the mall and says “my niece has triplets, her name is _________ do you know her?” and you can answer “yes I do”
The awareness of silence strikes terror into your soul.
You know the black market value of a Runabout stroller.
You know the black market value of a Choo Choo wagon.
You know what a Choo Choo wagon is.
You consider cereal dumped on the middle of the floor, not to be bad parenting, but rather a unique picnic breakfast!
All kids are aware that any sippy cup left unattended is fair game.
Whining is heard not just in stereo, but in surround sound!
You go to an amusement park with your triplet stroller only to realize YOU’VE become the source of amusement, or you go to the Zoo and find the other visitors watching your kids more than the animals!
Your peri says you look like a beached whale at 24 weeks.
You know what the word Peri stands for.
You use the word singleton.
You need a hitch for your stroller
Your stroller dictates what kind of vehicle you can drive
You refer to your babies as A, B, and C
$15.00 baby outfits seem too expensive.
You buy a single weeks worth of formula, and the clerk asks you if you are stocking up.
You laugh at singleton moms for sterilizing pacifiers. You can’t stop yours from sucking on each others fingers, nose, ears, toes etc, so you just shake your head because you know those germs are building up their immune system.
You pick up a dropped paci, and just blow the dust off rather than rinsing it because after all, 5 minutes ago they shared it with the dog, and you didn’t get to it in time before they put it back in their mouths. What’s a little dust?
You intentionally feed all 3 kids from the same spoon and bowel even though one is sick, because you can’t bear the thought of 3 consecutive 2 week cold sessions, you’d rather have them sick at the same time.
You enroll them in or join every activity and playgroup you can, you visit every playground in a 10 mile radius, sometimes more than 1 a day, just so you can be out of the house from dawn to dusk so you have less to clean up.
When discussing child proofing and singleton moms say “you just have to tell them no, you can’t child proof everything” and you laugh and say “Wanna Bet?”
After 20 minutes in the car you realize you are not only listening to the kids tape, but you are singing along with it, and there are no kids in the car.
The $250 travel system stroller that singleton moms complain about being too big, look like toy strollers to you.
You’re not sure if what you squeezed on your toothbrush was toothpaste or diaper ointment, but you’re too tired to care, and too tired to check, so you keep brushing anyway.
You say to your husband “if you wake up these babies I’ll kill you” and you mean it.
You say to your mother “if you wake up these babies I’ll kill you” and you mean it.
You say to your dog “if you wake up these babies I’ll kill you” and you mean it.
It doesn’t matter, you ARE buying them out of ProSoBee, and the other moms can just get over it.
All of a sudden everyone you know, knows someone with triplets.
Crib Tents? You can’t afford NOT to buy them.
You know what a crib tent is!
You consider leashes a viable safety option
You burst into laughter at the site of a diaper Genie… AS IF….!!
You celebrate the birthdays of the people who invented the spill proof sippy cup and the auto repeat replay function on DVD players.
You bought a dog (or have thought about it) to cut down on post meal cleanup time.
On the way to rescue a paper towel roll on the verge of destruction you suddenly realize that it might buy you 5 minutes to check your e-mail.
The next day, the kids wake up too early, you open their door long enough to throw in a couple of rolls of paper towels and you go back to bed.
You discover Nirvana when you finally convert to that all one color/all one size/all one style of socks, system.
Your home has become a complex maze of gates, locks and barricades.
Your kids have never actually walked through the zoo or store, because getting out of the stroller is NOT an option.
You are not horrified at the idea of “waking a sleeping baby” to eat. After all, it is time to EAT so sayeth the master schedule!
You seriously wish someone would sell Orajel in a toothpaste-sized tube. Is this little tiny tube supposed to be a joke? And that’s with the one day supply of infant Tylenol… don’t they know I need a 10oz bottle?
You delivered 17 lbs of baby, and didn’t set any records.
Your nickname for a period of time was Bessie.
You spend more time pumping than sleeping
You don’t think the Suburban is a large vehicle.
When hearing of a new pregnancy, you first question is “just one?”
You call one baby a singleton (before your triplets arrived, it was just “a baby”)
All your friends have multiples.
Your main connection to the outside world is through Facebook and triplet blogs
Some of your best friends you have never even met in person.
You send 7 invitations to a birthday party, and you have 15 kids show up, and you were expecting more.
You don’t want to potty train because the though of trying to take all 3 to a public bathroom yourself sends shivers up and down your spine.
You make formula by the gallon and it lasts only 24 hours.
Your pediatrician’s office recognizes your voice.
It’s considered a ‘date’ if you husband goes with you to the Mother’s of Multiples garage sale.
Have any to add?
Sarah says
May 3, 2010 at 6:09 pmThese were too funny!
nikandthetrip says
May 3, 2010 at 6:18 pmnot sure if I should have a good cry or a good laugh….
Fountain Valley Realtor says
May 3, 2010 at 8:21 pmInstead of child-proofing the TV and fireplace you simply gate off that entire section of the room.
Kathryn says
May 3, 2010 at 8:24 pmYou refer to your babies as the "blue one" or the "green one" (color coded infants to tell them apart)
You start to question phrases like: "God will only give you what you can handle"
and you just pray a lot more in general!
I'm sure there are more… now you got me thinking 🙂 TOO FUNNY!
Jennifer says
May 3, 2010 at 11:07 pm"You have people asking if you run a daycare because that’s what your yard looks like."
I have twins plus another 22 months younger, and heard those exact words from the life insurance nurse when she came to take blood early one morning and all 3 were in jammies, on the couch, watching Sesame Street. Um, no, they are all mine…and I thank G-d EVERY DAY that I am the one "corralling" them as well as loving them up!!
I did get the "Are they triplets?" question once, which just made me chuckle because usually people are stunned that my twins are twins, since my girls is about 2.5 inches taller than her twin brother.
G-d bless you triplet MOMs, especially those first two years!!
Andrea says
May 4, 2010 at 3:03 amAMEN!!!!
Kristi says
May 4, 2010 at 7:18 pmI laughed until I had cried!!! This is great!! LOL!!!
Jenny says
May 4, 2010 at 8:40 pmHeard, bought, thought, done almost all of these!! Very funny – thanks for sharing!!!
Grandma Jane says
May 5, 2016 at 2:47 pmYou know you have triplets, when you are so HAPPY to see your mother-in-law walk in the door.
Michelle says
May 31, 2016 at 7:10 pmHAHAHA!